Podcast

BACK TO PODCAST PAGE
Episode 006

Lighting the Way With Purpose and Well Being

In this episode of The OurVoice Podcast, Reena Merchant is joined by Cherie Healey, a personal and leadership development coach with the goal of helping people love, lead, and light the way for a better world. She has been resident well-being coach for YouTube and has worked with women at Google and other corporations to help create work places centered around well-being, connection, and self-awareness. Listen to this episode as Reena and Cherie discuss how to go about identifying your purpose, sharing your gifts with the world, and maintaining a sense of well-being.

The episode begins with Cherie expressing her desire to help people make the most of their lives and her job in working with individuals and leaders to help make the world a better place. She calls herself a possibilitarian, which she defines as someone who will stop at nothing to get you to where you want to go in life. She does this by helping people identify their gifts and how these can be used to influence the world. She helps people replace feelings of disempowerment and feeling small with showing them their great purpose and gifts they were born with.

Next, Reena asks Cherie to share how to identify gifts and purposes in life. Cherie begins by pointing out that oftentimes our purposes and gifts are right in front of us. Everyone has a universal purpose to experience love and happiness. But even deeper than this, everyone has a unique essence that holds the special gifts we were born with. Our unique ultimate purpose branches from our essence and this contains what we are here to experience in this world. The last level she speaks about is mission, which is how we will live our deep purpose in this world. Reena and Cherie take a minute to talk about how past trauma can shape and affect these different levels of purpose and give examples from their own lives.

Reena moves on to ask Cherie to discuss how we can use our gifts to give back to the world. First, it is important to understand that our best gift to the world is to simply be ourselves. The rest of our gifts extend off of this aim at being authentic and true to yourself. Doubts about our true selves can often arise, and Cherie spends some time pointing out the importance of facing the doubts and speaking truth to ourselves. It is equally important to be surrounding yourself with a good and supportive community who will point you to what is true when doubts do come. Additionally, she goes on to talk about how to love our whole selves, which is life’s ultimate pursuit. She shares a common strategy of practicing self compassion, where you take time to speak truth to yourself each day rather than letting doubts and fears take control.

Lastly, Reena and Cherie discuss the importance of self care and well being. According to Cherie, in order to do well, you have to be well. Believe that your well being is a critical part of your mission on earth by making it a priority. She encourages listeners to intentionally take time out of busy schedules to rest and invest in relationships and creativity. Energy must be put into ourselves at the same rate it is being put out. The podcast closes with Cherie encouraging listeners to bring on their goals, dreams, and gifts, and to not let anyone stop you in your mission.

Key Ideas:

0:35 - Reena introduces guest Cherie Healey and the episode

1:58 - Reena asks Cherie to share about herself and what she does

4:14 - Cherie talks about the word “possibilitarian”

5:30 - What does it mean to find yourself?

10:00 - How do we identify what out gifts are and what out purpose is?

17:15 - What are ways we can give back to the world?

20:37 - Cherie shares how to face the doubts we have about ourselves.

26:10 - How do we learn to love all the parts of us?

32:07 - The importance of well being.

43:00 - Cherie’s call to action.

45:00 - How to stay in contact with Cherie.  

 

Links:

Learn more about​ ​Reena Merchant

Learn more about Cherie Healey on her website

Learn about Cherie’s 12 week leadership training program called Together

Access Cherie's Ultimate Purpose handout

Access Cherie’s Success Cycle worksheets: Being & Doing

Full Episode Transcript

Reena Merchant:

Each and every one of us is born perfect, with the perfect inner wisdom, the perfect light, and the perfect gifts to give the world. But somewhere along the way, as we go through life, we start to forget this truth. We can lose sight of our purpose. We can lose connection with our inner compass. And sometimes we start to doubt ourselves.

Reena Merchant:

Cherie Healey is a possibilitarian. She is a personal and leadership development coach, and she has dedicated herself to helping people love, lead, and light the way for a better world. She helps people find their purpose, live fuller lives, and become their highest selves. And she helps create workplaces that are centered around wellbeing, connection, and self-awareness. Cherie has been the Resident Wellbeing Coach at YouTube. She's worked with women at Google for over 10 years, advised corporate leaders for 25 years, and she is a Women In Management Facilitator at Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Reena Merchant:

In this episode, Cherie and I discuss how we can go about identifying our purpose, how we can share our gifts with the world confidently and fully, and how we can maintain a sense of wellbeing while doing all of this. Cherie absolutely radiates love and light, and this really comes through in our conversation. I enjoyed chatting with Cherie so much, and I hope you enjoy hearing her perspective as much as I did.

Reena Merchant:

Cherie, I am so excited to speak with you today. I am just incredibly grateful that I came across the incredible work that you are doing for the world and that we connected. I've read that your mission is to help people love, lead, and light the way for a better world. This sounds so magnificent. Could you tell us a bit about yourself, what this means, and what you do?

Cherie Healey:

Oh gosh, I'm so happy to be here with you. I'm grateful we're connected too and to have the conversation that I could talk about all the days like how are we doing our lives? I'm here just to help people make the most out of what I've seemed to imagine since I was little is just the greatest gift to be in a body, to be a human being even though this seems like a very wild ride, more than ever this year. Yeah, I'm here to really help people make the most of it, but that manifests across the board. People want to put coaches in a box so you just focus on business or just health or relationships, and I'm really about the whole picture. Helping people become who they're here to become and do what only they can do and experience the joy that comes from knowing that.

Cherie Healey:

So I work with individuals from leaders, really people who want to make the world a better place. Those are the peeps. And then help them really do that in life and at work because I came across the data not that long ago, that we spend 90,000 hours at our jobs, which is kind of alarming and I... 90,000 hours in our lives. So we really need to raise the bar, I think, to use those hours to become the people we're here to become and to certainly enjoy the ride probably more than a lot of us are.

Reena Merchant:

Thank you, Cherie. I didn't realize that just that number, the bigness of that number is just mind-blowing. And your mission resonates with me so much on a personal level too. I wanted to ask you, you used the term possibilitarian. I've heard you call yourself that. And I did not even know this was a word, but it sure sounds like a damn cool one. What does it mean?

Cherie Healey:

Yeah, I sort of called myself that offhandedly in a meeting with a client who happens to develop my brand because he's just a genius when it comes to capturing people's essence and making that a logo and a business that really resonates with people, and he just stopped in his tracks and he was like, "That's what you are." And I think it's just such a better way of describing what it is that I stand for rather than just saying I'm a board certified coach, leadership advisor. A possibilitarian is somebody who will stop at nothing to get you what you want in life. That's how I define it. That I will literally do whatever I can and pull out every tool and every key to every doorway to unlock the possibilities in your life and in your loves and in your work.

Reena Merchant:

That is so incredible. Thank you for sharing the essence of that, Cherie. Now, as you said, through the coaching and the leadership development work that you do, it sounds like there is so much of this focus on helping people, as you said, find themselves or become their highest selves. What does this mean and how do you help people do this?

Cherie Healey:

Yeah, such a good question. I think that we are not told very early on how very powerful we are and we're not told that we all have a gift to give that if not shared is lost to the world forever. I think we're all running around wanting to feel like we matter and like we're enough and that we'll be loved. And without this knowledge that we are the universe in this body, that we are actually more powerful than we could ever imagine, then we run around trying to mean something or do something of meaning or leave a legacy or try to make a difference in some way that has a lot of people running around just lost and burdened. Like what's my purpose? I don't know why I'm here.

Cherie Healey:

And I think that when I was about 25 after spending my whole life searching for what is the meaning of life, I was asking this question in nursery school and my parents were like, "Maybe you should go talk to the priests and the nuns at school because we don't know." They couldn't answer these big questions. And so it led me to work with all of these sages and philosophers and I finally met a great scientist of consciousness from an Indian traditional yoga that finally was able to answer the question I think that resonated with me, and is that we are already perfect. We already have everything we need. We came in with tools and talents and all kinds of gifts to have the greatest life that we're here to have.

Cherie Healey:

And there's a very wise center in each of us that was there when we were little and we just are sort of taught that we have to learn and we have to get out there and we have to get certificates and credentials and we have to basically find things outside of ourself that will legitimize us. And it never felt quite right. It felt like didn't we already come in good? And this message that we have, this high self, this being inside that is wise beyond measure, calm and loving at its core, that we are literally the microcosm of the macrocosm. We could break this down into the prefrontal cortex and the heart or we could make it very scientific. You don't have to be spiritual to understand this in any way, but that at our highest, if we're tapped into that identity, then we're capable of anything.

Cherie Healey:

And that's where the possibilities come in, right? That's where our highest powers are enacted at work, where we're self-expressed, where we're most creative or most innovative when we don't think we're small or less than or different in some way that is diminishing. I think the root of all the problems in our world right now are people are just feeling disempowered. And when you feel disempowered, you're hurting. And so then that causes hurt in the world.

Cherie Healey:

So I do a lot of work to help people get in alignment with who they think they are, to understand who they are and who they're here to be in this life. And the work around that looks like sort of diving in and dealing with the other parts of ourselves that we aren't happy with because if you're familiar with like Internal Family Systems or parts theory, we know we're made up of many different facets. We're multifaceted, multidimensional people. And understanding all those little parts and why we are so multidimensional helps us really take our center to know who we truly are and then how to love all the bits and pieces of us, all the different parts to feel whole again. And when that happens, then you can start to really step into, well, what am I here to give and how can I give that freely? So there's lots of ways we access that high self and lots of tools that I use to ground it.

Reena Merchant:

Thank you. This is beautiful. There's so much in here that I want to dig into just to unpack this. I think maybe the first follow-up question I would love to ask you is this idea of we are here with gifts that we can give the world. How might we begin even to identify what our gifts are? What is our purpose? Like, how do I know what I'm here to give the world?

Cherie Healey:

Yeah. Well, it's amazing. It's usually right in front of you. And it's so close to you. You can't see it. I think that always happens in our pursuit of that truth that people will sit back and just go, "Oh my God, it was like right in front of me." And we complicate it a whole lot. So I'll kind of... Maybe with the notes or when we post this, we can share some visuals because I love visuals and handouts. And I've got this. If you can imagine a triangle, this kind of gives you an idea of what it looks like. That at the bottom of the triangle is a universal purpose. That we all are here for a shared human purpose.

Cherie Healey:

And with all the studies and all the paths and the traditions, it feels like they all kind of agree on the same thing, which is we're here to experience love and happiness. That we're here to ultimately become ourselves as well. Like the true version of each one of us. And so if you can agree or feel into like that that is something that we all want as human beings, that's one level of what we're here to give. Like we're here to give love. We're here to give joy. And even in all the darkness and the hard times, that that's part of knowing love and the ultimate joy of being alive.

Cherie Healey:

And then when you go up the triangle, there's this idea of essence or original medicine, which comes from an indigenous teaching that we all have that really one true special gift that's at the core of our being. And I think it's the greatest career strategy to go where you'll be used for this essence, where when you know what your original medicine is or this essence, then you really become like a walking blessing for others. You give off that gift without even trying. So lots of people who know me would say, this is not a surprise at all, but my original medicine or my essence is celebration. So I'm kind of a party on legs. I'm always about celebrating everything. And that's what launched me on this journey of like, oh my God, how do we make the most of being alive in this life?

Cherie Healey:

So that comes through everything that I do, this like urgency to enjoy the ride. And so that is part of the work. I get at that through reflecting the people that I'm with. I have a strange gift to be able to see people's truth in their soul and like who they truly are. And so we enter that in the work, and then there's also like a really cool questioning process that I take people through called the lightning questions that I've developed over the last 13 years of doing this. It's just these really deep, fun questions that get at your truth. And going through the process, we come across truly what your essence is. It's super fun.

Cherie Healey:

And so once you know that, most people have apologized for it. Like I used to apologize for always wanting to have the fresh cut flowers and hang the string of lights and have everything be special. And when you know that that's your gift, then you can just let it rip. You don't have to apologize for it anymore. And it actually becomes a really big, wonderful thing for others around you.

Cherie Healey:

And then on top of that, going up the triangle, there's your unique ultimate purpose. So what you uniquely are here to experience. And that comes out of this long question conversation that we do too. Like what is the thing that you're craving the most to give in the world to experience in this lifetime? And you know what's crazy is it's usually directly related to a trauma or something that you've been struggling with your whole life. So like for me, I'm here to empower people to be themselves. I want to help everybody just become radically themselves because my whole life I held back and I felt too small or too big or not enough and let the culture and the system and maybe a parent disempower me. And I struggled with feeling like I was okay, like I'm okay as I am. And so of course that pointed directly towards my purpose. It shined the light exactly on what I never wanted anyone to experience. Like with a whole lot of longing, that is my mission.

Cherie Healey:

Well, but that then brings me to the top of the triangle, which is mission. So ultimate purpose is what you're here to really experience and contribute, but then the mission is how you do it in the world. Like how you might monetize it, right? What my job is. And that, I could fulfill on this purpose in a million different ways. I could really do anything if I was just going around and empowering people and helping them be themselves. You can imagine many different jobs and sectors of the world where I could fulfill on that.

Cherie Healey:

My mission in this life now I've found is to help the people who want to change the world do that, to be empowered to do that. And I do it through leadership advising and coaching leaders and organizations. So that's my mission now, which it could change. It could grow and develop from there. But I think that helps kind of demystify this whole thing that people get all lost in because I see a lot of people going around and just being like looking at job boards and trying to find something that might match their resume. And I developed like a personal brand story with people. Instead of a resume, I'm like life beyond the resume. Let's tell a better story that answers who am I? What am I here to do? Why do I do it? How do I do it? What's my essence? And get it all super clear in that kind of way, then you can go to a company and sell them on you rather than look for a job opening.

Reena Merchant:

Yeah, this is so helpful, Cherie. And just the process, the methodology, the approach that you described is incredible. What you said about how many times it starts from a place of trauma, I think that resonated with me so much too. It's all this OurVoice stuff is about for me authenticity. And it does come up from a place of personal trauma. My whole life, I struggled with speaking up and being myself confidently and finding my voice. And I guess, yeah, to your point, it's that trauma or that journey of mine that then with time transformed and manifested into just whatever this work is that I'm trying to do. And so that really resonated with me.

Reena Merchant:

I wanted to ask you just when we think about this gift that we might have to give the world, does it have to be... Sometimes it feels a little bit overwhelming or a little feeling of there's some pressure involved in that. Does it have to be a big thing? I'm curious just in your experience working with people if you have examples of what are ways in which we can give back to the world?

Cherie Healey:

Oh, I love that. And first I just want to thank you for sharing what you just did about your journey too because it's just miraculous. Here you are giving everyone the mic to hear their voice because you know what it's like not to be heard and had that experience of not being heard. So I just want to thank you so much for doing this work.

Reena Merchant:

Thank you.

Cherie Healey:

Really truly. So the gift, this is also a great question because I know it can feel daunting if I say, oh my God, it'd be tragic if you left the world without having shared your gift. And the truth of the matter is even though literally you came here implanted, like you're embedded with gifts to give, the real gift at the end of the day is just being you.

Cherie Healey:

So let's just say I stopped at the bottom of that triangle and I just came here to experience happiness and love and I at some point in my life softened enough to be okay with who I am and just unapologetically went out there with my essence, which can't be denied. Really at the end of the day, we all are in it whether we've named it or not. But if I'm celebration and I'm just running around, being with the people that I love, doing the work that I do with that coming out of my pores, that's it. I fulfilled the mission. Like I did good. I think a lot of people will leave the planet without having truly let us see them, not really allowed us to know them.

Cherie Healey:

And so that's the thing to focus on. When you can be authentically you, then I think the rest of the gifts are gravy. Did you help solve for climate crisis, for the climate challenge that we have going on? Did you help kids this new generation and their mental health? Whatever course that you take on with that essence is just such a bonus. And I really like to just settle that complexity and pressure for people because it's the truth. You can't do this wrong. One of my teachers said that along the way, like you can't actually mess this up. Like there's a internal GPS system inside each one of us that's guiding us towards everything that we're supposed to experience, everything that our soul came here to learn. And if you think you took a wrong turn, you'll find your way right back without even trying. It's just kind of the way life works.

Reena Merchant:

Yeah, that is so encouraging this idea that you can't get it wrong and it's not this big, scary thing that our gift lies in just being ourselves. And that is it makes it feel so accessible. So thank you for sharing that.

Cherie Healey:

Yeah.

Reena Merchant:

Cherie, you said something earlier that I really wanted to come back to when you said something about embracing our essence and just really letting it rip. And it made me think a little bit about imposter syndrome. And sometimes in... I know I can speak from my own perspective just in trying to embrace my essence, sometimes these doubts come up. It's like who am I? Who am I to be doing this? Who am I to be changing the world or giving a piece of me back to the world? And I know a lot of us feel self-doubt or have trouble trusting that, as you said, that wise center that we have within us. How do we handle those feelings that might arise?

Cherie Healey:

Yeah, gosh, I deal with imposter syndrome with everybody. So rest assured it is not something that's tied to your level or your title. Even people who I look up to who are at the C-level or I consider incredibly wise beings still struggle with this. So that should level the playing field and say that maybe what we're all dealing with is just part of being human. That we're in this kind of divine forgetting and remembering constantly because the only reason that you could ever experience imposter syndrome is that you've forgotten that you are this high self we talked about. That you are already this amazing soul on the inside that's totally perfect. It's like you're already baked in a way and you came in here just to watch yourself be this version of the universe that's named you in this lifetime.

Cherie Healey:

And so it's part of I think the play here that we'll forget and we'll think, "Oh, I'm just Cherie Healey. I'm just this person who was born in this town who has this... I'm this age and I have these credentials or whatever is my little story." And I forget that I'm actually equal to everybody. That we're all in fact equal. And it doesn't look like that on the outside for sure especially right now. With everything that's going on in the world, it's never been equal. We don't have equity, but I believe that on the inside we are that. So we're always trying to come back to this remembrance.

Cherie Healey:

And I think when you forget, you get a good person who loves you, who knows this, who can reflect back to you, who they know you to be truly. They say you can't truly know yourself without the reflection of another. So to be in good company, to have community around who reminds you when you forget and not beat yourself up for it because like I used to. I sometimes still do get really frustrated with this forgetting part, but I guess we'd all be enlightened if we didn't forget. So it's just part of the equation.

Cherie Healey:

And then I say, get light with it. That we've got to laugh more about this crazy earth school, what it is to be human. It's really hard. And if you can hear that question fire off in your brain, well, who am I? Then answer it with like I'll tell you who I am. Like answer it. You know what? I know that I'm here to experience love, okay? So I'm a lover. Or I'm here to change the world goddamned and I can't help it because I believe also when you have a desire for something that it's like you can't help it. You are here, your soul is telling you, we came here to experience this thing.

Cherie Healey:

So if you have a desire for like, like I have a desire to live on the ocean. I want to live on the sea. What am I going to do? Go, "Oh, who am I to just live on the ocean? I can't help it. I can't not want it. I want an outdoor shower too." It's like these desires are here because we want to enjoy being alive. So instead of playing around with am I worthy? Am I enough? Let me see if I have a list of qualifications to want this thing, just take it today listening to this talk as a reminder that that is something your soul wants to taste in this life no matter what it is and unapologetically, you keep taking baby steps towards it.

Cherie Healey:

There's this thing I do with the success cycle with people where I try to trip them up into kind of an upward spiral or a cycle towards success. And the way to get into it, there are two entry points. Either believe so much in the thing that you're trying to do that you'll step into it, or if you don't believe, then just take action. So if you're suffering from the imposter syndrome, just make the call anyway. Write the email. Tell somebody what you want and keep making baby steps because what happens then is you get results and then the results build belief. So you'll start to believe in yourself again because things change when you take actions. It's just the law of the universe.

Reena Merchant:

Yeah, I love it. I love this sort of advice to take action, to just keep moving forward, to just live. It's so encouraging and it makes me think, yeah, that's right. Like why don't I just do that? So thank you.

Cherie Healey:

Because you forgot, you just had to have a chat with somebody who reminds you.

Reena Merchant:

Which is why this chat is absolutely perfect. I wanted to also get your thoughts on kind of looking within, you actually touched on this a little bit earlier that sometimes we stumble... When we look within, we might stumble across parts that maybe we aren't so happy with. What do we do then? Like how do we grow to love all the parts of us even the parts that sometimes we feel like we don't love?

Cherie Healey:

Oh, this is like the PhD program in life. The fact that we could ultimately love ourselves is the ultimate pursuit. So I think we really don't have many challenges loving others. We can always find a way I think to love others much more easily than ourselves. But man, when you can turn that around on yourself, it changes everything. So I'll just lead with the promise that you become like a human magnet in your relationships and your leadership. If you are cool in your own skin, you become a safe place for others. So one of the greatest just practical doorways to this is a daily practice of self-compassion. And I'll tell you just a tiny story to like bring it to life because Kristin Neff is a great professor who she wrote the book called Self‑Compassion, and she tells this story in the book. It's a great read and everybody should read it, but this is also like the cliff notes.

Cherie Healey:

So she's on an intercontinental flight with her son and it's the middle of the night and he has autism and he is in the aisle way of the airplane throwing his body around. Just miserable like we all are on a long flight, but sleepless and angry and she is panicked because everybody's angry at her. So what we might do in the situation would be to put all of our attention on the child, on the challenge in front of us and put all this effort out to fix the challenge, to calm the child. Self-compassion looks like this. She put her hand on the child and she put about 5% of her attention on the child and 95% of her attention on herself. And she talked to herself like her dearest friend.

Cherie Healey:

She said, "Oh honey, look at you. This is so hard. You are doing such a great job. You're the greatest mom. I love you. This is going to pass. Everything's going to be okay. Everybody understand." It went on and on and on. So she's soothing her own nervous system being really kind to herself. And I tell you what, in like five minutes, that child was completely at peace.

Reena Merchant:

Wow.

Cherie Healey:

Right?

Reena Merchant:

Yeah.

Cherie Healey:

So think in life or out there, what do we all do? We beat ourselves up. We talk to ourselves horribly. We would never speak to people the way we speak to ourselves. Who do you think you are? Oh my God, all the things. You know that tiny voice inside? And that voice is a part. So back to like the parts theory, that little part, I just did this with a client today, is usually about seven years old. It develops in us when we're very little and it becomes a voice that parents us, that tries to look out for us, that is trying to keep us safe. And it's a child. It's not wise. So it's not speaking to us like a lovely human would. It's beating us up and telling us horrible things because it's scared. And so then we're at odds with that part and ourself. We don't like it. We want it to go away. And so we create this internal war that we've all been experiencing throughout our lives and then we try to keep it on the down low like nobody else has the same problem we all do.

Cherie Healey:

And so the act of speaking to that part, seeing it, even in your mind's eye, if you can even see where that part lives in you and personify it, it'll pop up like a little kid. And you're like, "This little kid's been running my show? This little kid is driving my bus and holding me back and making me not take risks and telling me how to behave?" It's not the part that should be in charge. But when you connect with it and you love it it'll probably make you cry because this part really is tired and just wants to keep you safe and doesn't know any better.

Cherie Healey:

So it's like an outdated app on your phone that needs an upgrade. It just needs to come to like 2021 version. And so you talk to it from your high self, like this loving, self-compassionate part, and you say, "Honey, I am X years old. I am a grown human. We are good. I need to be in a better relationship with you. Let's find a better job for you than beating me up and talking to me like this. How can you really help me?" And it sounds so crazy, but you can call me, I'll walk you through it. It's not hard. And it's the most instantaneous changemaker. You go through this little process, you grow that person up inside, you change the way that you relate to them, you just speak to them really kindly. I usually say like put them in the back of the bus with an iPad and a bag of chips and let them know that you're in charge and they stop bothering you as much. And then they start trusting you. And then you have this more integrated, aligned, whole self that comes into being.

Reena Merchant:

Yeah, it's so true. And I'm thinking right now of all the times when I do this, it's like we place our attention outwards rather than inwards. And just giving ourselves that love first is just so important. And this makes me actually, I'd love to ask you a little bit more about this because I wanted to ask you about wellbeing. It makes me think of that topic. I know a lot of your work is focused on this, but even as I think about wellbeing, I think, gosh, well, I do the same thing. Like I put all my attention on other people or other things or the external aspects of a situation rather than focusing my attention and my care on myself. I would love to hear your perspective on wellbeing and what are some of the things that come up around wellbeing as you work with others?

Cherie Healey:

Yeah, God, we could talk on this for days, can we? Wellbeing is at the core of everything. My focus at these companies like Google and YouTube and Facebook, these big companies that are trying so hard to change the world, we need to learn that in order to do well, we have to be well. And I've had so many leaders say that has not been my experience. I usually have to sacrifice my wellbeing in order to do well. And we've got to flip it. If COVID taught us anything, we have been acting like we're in the industrial revolution still, acting like these machines, these organizations that are just churning through people spitting them out on disability leave then bringing them back in or bringing in replacements to just go, go, go more better, faster.

Cherie Healey:

And I'm not saying that... People always worry when I start talking about this that I'm telling them to slow down because that's just not an option for them. And there's a way of shifting it so that you're not going to do less. In fact, you're actually going to get better results, higher results, better performance. That's just the truth. But the way in which you do it, it's going to be different. So it looks like first believing that your wellbeing being is critical. So I always say the more you want to give, the more you need. And saying, if I want to be an ultimate world changer, if I want to be giving at the most extreme level, because I don't work really with anybody who isn't some insane giver, then you have to realize that you need things. That you have conditions that you require in order to be that giving and that successful.

Cherie Healey:

And I'm asking organizations and leaders to really look at the conditions more now than ever because here we are now disconnected. We're not in the office together. One of the number one indicators of job satisfaction is deep and meaningful relationships and our relationships have taken a giant hit, which are directly related to our wellbeing. They say if you have one best friend on your team, you'll outperform everyone else by seven times. So it's really important that we feel well. And that means that we feel safe, that we have energy, that we feel connected even though we feel well inside, like everything we've already been talking about, that we have the self-awareness that would have us feel calm and confident.

Cherie Healey:

So the work around wellbeing is sometimes not what you would expect. Like we definitely hit on all the self-care stuff like sleep and hydration and all the things that we know we should do, but I think that wellbeing work is really more of a mindset shift to say that I have a big mission in life or I believe I have gifts to give and some upgrade and so forth that says giving to myself and taking care of this body and my mental health is a priority that is a business strategy. It's not just a nice to have. It's actually something that is a critical piece of my performance, my joy, my 90,000 hours, my leadership, like all of it.

Reena Merchant:

I love that. I love what you just said that it's a part of my business strategy because I think the one biggest paradox that I find myself struggling with when it comes to wellbeing is on one hand, there's this fire in my belly. I want to do things. I want to achieve things. I want to bring my gifts out into the light. And then I think, go. Like this is the time I need to do all this. But then there's just as importantly, as you said, this need to just be and to breathe and to give myself rest. And I've always struggled with this paradox. It's like, how do I do both? And I frequently say, okay, well, yeah, well, the rest can wait because that's not time-sensitive. I need to do this other stuff. And then of course, if that's your strategy, then the rest never comes. But this is really such an interesting way of framing. It it's like, no, that has to be part of the strategy.

Cherie Healey:

It has to. Otherwise we're totally denying our humanity, which frankly we have been forever. I just feel like we're in a massive wake up call right now. Having gone inside and had to slow down and rethink things last year, I think one of the greatest outcomes of this could be that we realize how much more we're capable of when we allow for the being and the doing. That it'd be like, do you struggle with your breath? Do you get bummed out that you have to inhale? Like, oh, I only want to exhale. We have to do both. And I'll say like very real life example. I just took time. I always say that we should get away every quarter on retreat, either alone or with really special beings so that you can take stock and restore and create new things and just take a moment out the normal routine.

Cherie Healey:

And I did that in Joshua Tree with my women. I have this council of great women and we're out there in the desert and I just turned off everything and I have teenager kids and I have all kinds that I'm running my own business. Like it's a lot to turn it all off, but I do because, oh my God, I came home, like I met a whole new perspective on things and I'm energized beyond. And did I have a total freak out the first night in the middle of the night at 4:00 AM with all the things that I had stacked up to do? Yes, I did. But what will be possible now because I took that time and I invested in my energy and my relationships and I allowed for creativity to flow, it's going to make me so much money, it's going to make me so joy. So many great new things are going to come out of it. So it was wholeheartedly like a life strategy, a wellbeing strategy, a business strategy. It was all those things. And I will be so glad I did it when I'm 90.

Reena Merchant:

Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you for humanizing it. It's like, okay, well, you have freak out moments too.

Cherie Healey:

Oh God, yeah.

Reena Merchant:

It's like you're right. Yeah…

Cherie Healey:

We teach what we're here to learn.

Reena Merchant:

Yeah, I love the idea of a quarterly retreat. I think that's such a good ritual. And I think that's definitely one very actionable thing that I'm going to try to do after this conversation.

Cherie Healey:

Yeah. Well, and I'll also just add because this is where we also get stuck. And I learned this the hard way ending up in the hospital a few times for exhaustion because I was doing all the things and I would wait for that quarterly thing or I would wait for the weekend or I'd wait hopefully for like an hour in the evening where I could sort of replenish. That just doesn't work unless you've gotten to this place where throughout your days, you're actually living this dance or this surfing metaphor that I go by where you're putting energy in at the same level that you're putting out on a daily basis. Waiting for those moments is not going to work because we just see it all too often. And I know you know like when you're just hanging by a thread and you just don't feel like you even have time, like you look at your calendar and there's not even white space on there, or you feel like you do anything for yourself, you're just being selfish.

Cherie Healey:

So this little hack makes all the difference where you think about, "Okay, if I've got all the things and I've got this urgent desire to go out and do it all right now." You can run with that, but coming back to the more you want to give, the more you need, up level what you're putting in as you're doing. If you don't have time to just do the being like hanging in a hammock for awhile, then you got to raise the bar for what you're feeding your senses. So I sit here and I'm working all day and I've got like... And this is just me, okay? These are the things that work to put energy in me. If I can see beauty around me like fresh cut flowers, I'm looking at the garden, I'm in the sunshine, that's big. That puts tons of wattage in when I'm doing, doing, doing, doing.

Cherie Healey:

And if I can be barefoot, if I can have headphones on and be like walking on grass, that's also helpful. If I can have music playing sometimes, if I can have a call with a friend briefly in the middle there to like talk about all the things five minutes. Think about layering in energy while you're putting it out. Are you eating like really, really good chocolate or are you just shoving something in your face for a quick meal? Things that would add joy and give you energy. Because ultimately, what we do is we get you to a place where you're so aligned that you're like on purpose, that you're kind of channeling energy. Like in the yoga, we call it the Shakti, Prana, Chi. You are in literally like energy itself because you're so fired up. Like I love what I do so much that I got so much energy. It's hard to sleep sometimes.

Cherie Healey:

That is where you ultimately get. But if you're not there and you're like, "Oh my God, I can barely do the basics," because that's where a lot of us are right now, think about how you can layer the energy and through what you see, what you listen to, what you taste, what you feel, what you wear. Anything that makes you feel soft and good and comfortable in your skin is going to go a long way to restoring you until you get the retreat.

Reena Merchant:

I love that. Thank you. It's like these little micro-replenishments along the way.

Cherie Healey:

Perfectly said. Yeah.

Reena Merchant:

You love that. Yeah. Thank you. I am doing this starting tomorrow, starting now.

Cherie Healey:

It's going to change everything.

Reena Merchant:

Exactly. Thank you. I will have to circle back with you and let you know how it's going. Cherie, every time I talk to you, I appreciate so much. There's this sort of supportive energy I get from you. Everything feels so human accessible. There's this focus on wellbeing. But what I've also noticed every time we chat is that I can feel the fire within you. It's like you have this unique way of igniting others. And as we wrap up this incredible conversation that we've had today, I have to ask, is there like a call to action that you might want to leave us all with today? If there was one thing that you could leave us with, what would that be?

Cherie Healey:

Oh, I love that you just asked that because it's something that I wanted to give everybody too is this. Okay, my call to action is my tagline. It's bring it. The world needs you. That is literally what I'm here for is like don't hold back. Bring the full you because we literally need everyone all hands on deck right now. There are some people that are saying we are needing to course correct really quickly because we could be the sixth mass extinction. That we might not make it. And I don't think that that's true. I think that we are headed actually into a brand new world, something better than we've ever known, but it will only come into being with all of us really being us and doing what our hearts and minds want us to do in this lifetime. So that's my call to action.

Cherie Healey:

But I think you just touched on one of the things that I always ask to help people find their purpose. So if we leave people with this thing to do and maybe do it with us right now. Don't overthink it and just let the first thing that comes up when I ask this question come out. If I put you on the top of a mountain with the world's biggest megaphone and you could give the whole world a gift and then tomorrow you die, this is like your parting gift for the world, what would you say? And that message, that will give you a giant flashlight on your essence, your gift.

Reena Merchant:

I love that. Thank you, Cherie. I'm going to have to do this exercise for myself. And thank you for leaving us with this really incredible and inspiring call to action. I really appreciate it. I must ask one final question. What is next for you, Cherie? What's happening in your world? How can people stay aware of all the amazing things you're doing and giving to the community?

Cherie Healey:

Oh, thanks. The website is probably the best, cheriehealey.com. There's a lot cooking. So that website will be brand new in May. And the offerings that are available for people are a wonderful new group experience called Together on an app called LIT, which stands for Luminaries In Training. So if anybody is feeling the call like I really want to rise up or I want to do this thing and become who I'm here to be and do it, only I can do, Luminaries In Training, this LIT app is where to go. So we'll be launching again in May another cohort and it's a 12 week program that's just amazing.

Cherie Healey:

And then I've got a couple openings to work with companies on this work we bring solutions for self-awareness and connection and wellbeing. And a lot of what I'm doing right now is helping to create cultures of belonging where people are well and they are included and they're safe. And so a lot of work around allyship and helping people work together like never before because we're coming back to the office and even working together like never before online. We've got a whole new way that we can start over. I don't want to go back to normal because that wasn't as good as what we're walking into now. So I'm happy to come in and help teams and leaders do that.

Reena Merchant:

Thank you. Thank you for sharing. This all sounds incredible. We will share all of this in the show notes. And Cherie, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this conversation today. Thank you for lighting us up. Thank you so much.

Cherie Healey:

Sister, I am so grateful for you. Thank you for having me.

Reena Merchant:

My pleasure. In speaking with Cherie, I realized that self-confidence is about remembering that we were already born perfect. We all have incredible gifts to give the world and finding ourselves is really just about remembering this. We never need to seek external legitimization because we all have an inner wisdom that we just need to remember how to trust. Knowing ourselves is about identifying our essence and owning it fully without feeling like we need to be apologetic for anything. It's about being integrated, aligned, and maintaining our wellbeing so we can truly enjoy being alive without letting doubts about our self-worth get in the way. As humans we all have a shared purpose around love, happiness, and becoming ourselves. Speaking with Cherie helped me realize just how much of a common thread this is between all of us and how much of our individual journeys are about this too.

Reena Merchant:

I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Cherie. If you did, please give the podcast a rating and a review online. It really helps us. And don't forget to check out the show notes at iamourvoice.com where we'll be posting links related to this episode, as well as the wonderful resources that Cherie has shared with us. Keep finding yourself, keep being yourself. I am sending you so much love.

BACK TO PODCAST PAGE

Join Our Community

Connect with us to stay informed of resources and upcoming events.

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form